|
|
|
By Patrick, on October 28th, 2009 While the big news story of the week/month has been a large rock slide that has closed both directions of I-40 just west of us, another more impressive story almost slipped through the cracks. The story is full of intrigue, deceit, emotions, and of course…fire and a spittoon. Yes, that’s right, spittoons. And you only thought they were good at catching chew tobacco! And just so you know that I’m not making this story up (yeah, you know I could make up something like this-sort of like Prince playing basketball with Charlie Murphy and then serving him pancakes, but I
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Brianna, on October 26th, 2009 I love to eat fresh pomegranates. Usually I slowly peel them and carefully remove the seeds to savor when I am done peeling about half of the fruit. This mincing, pansy way of getting the seeds from the pomegranate was just not going to cut it. I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant and there is no such thing as ‘delayed satisfaction’ in my vocabulary currently. So I devised a great method for eating a fresh pomegranates.
Put on some old clothing. (Bonus points if it is something you are going to cover with blood stains for Halloween anyway) Stand over the
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Patrick, on October 24th, 2009 Welcome to the newest section of www.realmountainvalues.com-Things that Piss Me Off. As you can tell by the title, these posts will be about things that piss me off. Because of my cynicality, this list promises to be extremely fruitful and fun. You may or may not agree with some of these, but honestly, I don’t care. They piss me off. Period.
For our inaugural ‘thing that pisses me off’, I have to comment on parents, since I will be one very shortly. Now, we all know that infants and children have to wear clothes. Some people call it a “necessity”.
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Brianna, on October 20th, 2009 By now you’ve probably been wondering where we’ve been these last few days. Well, first we went to see our beautiful baby niece down in the hometown for a little while. Perfect little fingers and toes and all of the softest parts. And the best thing about it was that when it had to fill its diaper, we could hand it off to the parents. Excellent! After the visit with the fam, we then traveled to the beach to go to a wedding. And boy was it an experience!!! This was the first Jewish wedding I’ve ever been to and
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Patrick, on October 15th, 2009 If you’ve ever been to a conference or a workshop or even a smaller event where old people are, you’ve probably come across this phenomenon that continues to drive me up a fucking wall even in my short life and career. Of course, I am talking about how old people like to ramble on and on continuously with no coherent point on subjects completely and utterly off topic. Last week, I had another encounter with this situation, and so finally I have decided to write about it.
As you may know, I am running for alderman in my town. The
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Patrick, on October 14th, 2009 So if anyone ever read this blog then you would be scratching your head about now and wondering where the hell we have disappeared to. Why aren’t they posting titillating articles about mountain life? (Yes I just wanted to use titillating in a sentence)
Frankly, we have been in baby frenzy mode. Patrick and I became an Uncle and Aunt this weekend. Which is awesome, but reminded us we might want to get our collective baby shit together. Why you might ask? Because my Sister-in-law was only due 5 DAYS BEFORE ME. 5 Days people! She had the baby a
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Brianna, on October 12th, 2009 I was thinking today, I really like old homes, but damn! they are such a pain in the ass to maintain. When we bought our house we had to update the wiring, put a new roof on, fix the floors, paint, and the list goes on an on (and keeps going on and on).
With an older home, you not only have to keep it up, but usually there are a few interesting “personality traits” of the house and numerous appliances that make life just a little bit more interesting. Here’s a brief list of our house:
1. The toilet-Thankfully
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Patrick, on October 6th, 2009 Usually I don’t bore you with the nitty-gritty details of my day, but something happened to me at work that got me thinking; and got me pissed off. You see, I deal with files and therefore I deal with paper; and therefore, I deal with shit that comes with both of those. And today I had an unwelcome experience of the dreaded papercut.
Now today’s papercut wasn’t just a wussy papercut. Nope, I can see and (of course) feel this bad boy. Now papercuts are interesting because usually, you have to actually see the cut for it to start hurting.
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Patrick, on October 6th, 2009 Well, this week has been hard on us. You see, we had a little “pet” spider who we called Al who hung out by our back door. This summer, we watched Al weave a new web almost every night, catch his share of flying insects, and gradually get bigger and bigger. The only problem was that Al was right in the middle of our back door hanging out. And we didn’t much like running into his web. So we did something about it.
We killed him. Damnit! Of course we didn’t kill him. We put him on a stick and
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
By Patrick, on October 5th, 2009 It’s time for another Real Mountain Value brought to you by the folks that make this website possible: rednecks. See, for as long back as people can remember, a very fine way to dispose of one’s garbage without the “hassle” of garbage bags or using the dump was to burn it. Unfortunately it seems, in today’s modern society, this practice has become almost extinct. Luckily, there is still one bastion where this time-honored tradition continues; and that place is…the Mountains of western North Carolina.
People up here don’t want to mess with dirty things like garbage. They don’t like to
[Continue Reading By Clicking Here...]
|
|
