Well, Tuesday’s the big election day. And no, I’m not going to be standing outside the library holding my political signs screaming at people “Willis for Alderman, bitches!!” Instead, I will vote, go to work, come home, drink some beer, play on the interwebs, and go to bed. A typical day in the life of Patrick.
Now, as you know, Brianna happens to be about 8 1/2 months pregnant. My day might be perfectly normal like it has been for the last 8 1/2 months, but I know there’s a little voice in the back of my mind that’s saying this is how my election day will turn out:
4:30a.m.-Brianna wakes me up and says something like “Well shit, I think my water just broke. I guess we have to call the doctor.”
4:31a.m.-Patrick-”Wha?? Water?? No, I don’t need any water. Go back to bed. It’s too damn early.” *Snore, snore*
4:32a.m.-*Smack!!* Patrick wakes up abruptly, Brianna begins to freak out. Brianna and Patrick begin making their way to the hospital.
4:49a.m.-10:34p.m. *Brianna and Patrick in the hospital. Patrick trying not to get his head ripped off his shoulders as Brianna squeezes a roughly seven-pound human through a very small opening.*
10:35p.m.-*Parents, Grandparents, relatives and friends start finding out the sex of the baby*
11:00p.m.-Someone from the newspaper calls and tells me that I lost the last seat on the town board by one vote.
I then give my baby the evil eye, stare accusingly at it, point at it, poke it and say…
That’s okay. I love you too!
