We were having a conversation the other day at work and someone thought the fake Dr. Seuss poem about loving your job was so cute. I don’t actually hate my job, but I just can’t help being a little subversive so I pulled up the opposite poem for everyone and while doing that I emailed it to Patrick. Because I just can’t help myself and I knew he would like re-reading this:
I hate my job, I hate the pay!
I hate it more and more each day.
I hate my boss, she is the worst!
I hate her boss and all the jerks!
I hate my office and its location,I’d love to take a long vacation.
I hate computers, drab and gray, And piles of paper that grow each day!
I think my job is really hell,There’s nothing that is close-to swell.
I hate to work among my peers, I hate their leers, and jeers, and sneers.
I hate my computer and its software; I hate low line counts!
But they don’t care.
I hate to type each and every file.
I hate them and I think they’re vile.
I’m sad to be here. I am. I am.
I’m the saddest slave of the Firm, I am.
I hate this work, I hate these chores.
I hate the meetings with deadly bores.
I hate my job –
I’ll say it again And can’t wait for those friendly men those friendly men who will come someday with a great job offer and take me away!
Patrick emailed me right back:
Subject: A Work Haiku
Work you can fuck off
Coworkers kiss my fat ass
Retirement Yes!
This is why I don’t try to match wits with him.
