Well shit. It’s another new year, which means it’s time for more resolutions. I love this time of year because I get to witness all of the resolutions of so many people at the gym. Yeah, it gets quite crowded in January as people resolve to lose weight, eat better, etc. Then February rolls around. Hmmm, not as many people at the gym anymore. A few seem to have fallen off the wagon. By March, it’s back to the usual patrons that actually do care about losing weight and sticking to the gym. And then the whole cycle repeats itself over again. The circle of life.
Well, it seems that I am already behind Brianna in my posting for this year. Honestly, I haven’t really thought a damn about resolutions. Ha, maybe I should procrastinate less. I guess I could be kinder to my fellow man. I could manage to go to the gym more. I could do better worrying about money. Maybe I could less cynical-about everything….Meh, what would be the fun in that, right?
As I think about, there’s nothing in the rulebook about New Year’s resolutions having to be positive is there? Why can’t I be more resolute in calling out bullshit when I see it? Why can’t I make more fun of people when they do stupid shit? Well, I don’t know. Maybe I should be nice since karma usually does come to bite you in the ass. So, here are some thoughts concerning this new years. Not quite as lofty as Brianna’s, but hopefully it’ll do…
1. Get more people to read this blog. Unfortunately, me and Brianna can’t do this ourselves. So I’m telling YOU to tell other people about this. We’re serious. We would like to quit our jobs and do nothing but entertain you on this website as our job for the next 30 years or so. We feel we’re intelligent and witty (with maybe a touch of cynicism) to do well at this kind of thing.
2. I’d like to teach my kid a few things or two-like how to hold a camera to take pictures of stupid shit he sees so we can add it to our blog. Or to let us know of the mountain values that he witnesses. The more eyes, the better I say!
3. Not to write any books this year. I’m sick of books. “Oh, this should be a 18-month project, tops” they say. Ha!
4. Finally, I would like to piss off as many Christian fundamentalists as possible by saying “Happy Holidays” next year. Yes yes, I know “Jesus is the reason for the season” and “there’s no Christmas without ‘Christ”. But honestly, you get offended when I say Happy Holidays?!? Screw it, I’m just gonna wish everyone a merry fucking Kwanzaa next year. What, you’re not black? Really?
Happy New Years bitches.
