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Real Mountain Values started as a running joke between myself, Brianna Willis and my husband, Patrick. A certain politician ran a campaign that constantly discussed mountain values. To tell you the truth Patrick and I don't remember that much about the campaign other than every time we would see a sign or commercial we would discuss exactly what made up a mountain value... Shotgun weddings?

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Brianna: brianna@realmountainvalues.com

Patrick: patrick@realmountainvalues.com

April Fools

Well shit. It’s April Fool’s Day and we got nothing. No funny news, no outrageous lies to tell. Just plain old realmountainvalues. Lying in bed last night though, we did finally think a little bit about what we could say for April Fools. The first thing me and Brianna thought about would be to tell everyone she’s pregnant again. But that we thought, was kinda lame and boring. Then we upped it a notch and thought about telling people we were getting a divorce. We could use the split with realmountainvalues.com and yardfarm.realmountainvalues.com as a metaphor for our struggles. But we thought, “meh, that might make some people really pissed off, and it’s really not that funny.” So here we are. With nothing.

As I was lying in bed last night though and thinking about things this morning, I however, did come up with a few random thoughts about April Fool’s Day. In no particular order, here they are:

1. I would’ve loved to be on the A-Team on April 1st. Then it would be “I Pity the April Fool”s Day.

He pities the fool...except on April 1st.

2. The poisonous cobra escaped from the Bronx Zoo a few days too early. Had he waited until today, nobody would’ve believed the person that discovered him missing. He may have been able to hang outside of his cage a little longer, looking at his delicioussssssssssss little mice from the atop of the Empire State Building. He didn’t plan that very well.

3. April Fools came just a few hours early for us. We sat and actually watched the entire The Prince of Persia movie. About 20 minutes into the movie, I realized this was a cruel joke, and asked myself “How can I escape this mess”? I couldn’t, and now I’ll never have that hour-and-a-half back again. I would give you a full review of the movie like I did of Avatar, but that would just be too cruel to you, even on April 1.

4. Do you think Gaddafi is celebrating this year’s April Fools’ Day?

Gaddafi:  “Hahaha, Gotcha folks! Ok, I’ll give you people some rights and stuff. Geez, I was only playing. You people can’t take a joke!”

5. Not to get all political, but I think that the oil companies think that everyday is April 1. They probably say to themselves, “Look at all those fools paying $3.50-$4.00 for a gallon of gas.”

So that’s it. We still got nothing. But hopefully someone will get you with something today to make you feel like an ass. It would only be right. Oh, and yes, Brianna is pregnant, and we’re getting a divorce.

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