If you have been reading Real Mountain Values for any length of time then you have probably gathered that I am a working mother. As in I hold down a full time job as well as do the random home stuff too. I try to blog occasionally, take photos, webmaster, paint/diy/decorate our new house and dig… Yeah always digging… Sometimes I spread myself a little thin which is when my house turns into a disaster area, I don’t post any blogs, and/or I pitch a screaming-crying-snotty fit at Patrick (if he is home) or the cats.
We like to complicate things even more with Patrick holding both a full-time day job and part-time job teaching at night. Plus he volunteers for not one, not two, but three organizations and is working with a local site to try to get on the National Historic Register. Did I mention we actually get to the gym a couple of night a week? Did I mention I’m about to go batshit insane? No? Because I am.
I’m pretty sure I could have managed to hold on to the pace of our lives, except for McClain. I simply miss him. I know all mothers miss their children when they go off to work, but… well… I’m whiny? I don’t know. It just seems I haven’t been able to ‘suck it up’, so to speak. He is 16 months old and not a day goes by that I don’t think I am missing something important in his life. I know I have no room to complain because my mother aka The Granny watches him for us 4 days a week. Patrick works a T-S schedule while I’m on a M-F. So both of us get some hands on parenting each week. I had an awesome childhood so I know he is in capable hands, but I still wish they were my hands.
Which led to our most recent decision. Starting June 1st I will be changing to part time at my work place. Luckily, just when I thought I was at my wits end a part-time position opened in another closely related department. My employer was very considerate and helped me make this transition easily. As a bonus I’ll only be moving about 15 feet to a new desk and in slow times working three days a week.
I can’t explain the relief and fear I feel. I know in my heart that it is the right decision and will allow both Patrick and I to spend a more time with McClain. I already have great plans to bring sandwiches and visit the free water park at Pack Square in Asheville so that Patrick can join us for lunches on Saturdays this summer. Plus I can’t imagine what it will be like to have more than one day of all three of us as a family unit. McClain has never had the luxury of his parents having a ‘weekend’ (Sunday and Monday) off together.
However, I’m also a little scared. We’ve looked at the budget and I have the choice of either health insurance or material goods. Both are not going to be possible if we want to remain debt free (minus the mortgage). Obviously, I will be taking option 1-Health Insurance for myself and McClain. However, there is a little panic that sets in every time I think about doing without. I know we have enough to cover basic necessities, but imagine only have around $70 to buy extra items like clothing, dinner out, gifts etc. each month. Feel a little nauseous? I do.
However, this panic has strengthened my resolve. I remember the same feeling when we discussed giving up cable TV. What would we do I thought? Then I got mad at myself for being so addicted! Come to find out I’m addicted to material things as well. While neither of us would be classified in the frivolous spender category, I do like being able to go out and buy some furniture or shoes or garden gear without needing to worry about ‘saving up’. Well no more! Instead of occasionally purchasing crap I am going to have to seriously weigh the merits of an item in our lives before plunking down any money.
In some ways this sounds like a dose of reality we could use. Find out what we really need to be a family, time or money. My bet is time, so I am really hoping this gamble pays off.
