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By Patrick, on February 6th, 2012 
Tow Mater the Tractor Tipper
Cars
RMV Rating: No Dirty Diapers
Yeah, it’s been a few years since Cars came out, but with McClain’s obsession with HotWheels and all other things car, we thought we’d watch it with him. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. I’m not sure where they got those cars that had eyes and could talk, but wherever they found them, they did a great job.
The plot, as you might expect, is pretty straightforward. Hotshot rookie car running for the “Piston Cup” must race in one final race to determine who wins the
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By Patrick, on February 4th, 2012 
I admit, this week wasn’t the most original in terms of our discussions of American life, but we did manage to come up with a few conversation nuggets to hopefully add to your reading pleasure. One of the funnest things that has been happening for the last few weeks is that McClain is learning a whole lot of new words, which is really fascinating, and a lot of times, really funny. So as we continue to spread our wisdom on the blog, we’ll be adding some of McClain’s nuggets to the conversations. Of course, most of his expressions are
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By Patrick, on February 3rd, 2012 
This is the scene outside our house right now
In light of Facebook’s IPO this week, Brianna and myself have decided that now is the best time to finally make RMV public. So get ready, because Monday, we’re going to put out the opportunity for you to invest in Real Mountain Values and join us on this awesome ride that we’ve created. This IPO will generate not only some much-needed capital for some of the awesome projects we’ve got planned in the near future, it will, just like Facebook, literally create hundreds of millionaires overnight. Well, actually probably not.
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By Patrick, on January 30th, 2012 
We just watched another riveting movie on Netflix last night: Green Lantern. This was about the sixth action-adventure movie in a row for us, so I think we’re going to change it up a bit and go with another genre for a while. But while I was watching this Oscar-worthy motion picture, I thought to myself, “Hey, we should do movie reviews for our Netflix rentals. Who cares if the movie is six months or 9 months or ten years old, maybe some of our readers would like to get a Netflix review of our movies.”
So here we are.
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By Patrick, on January 27th, 2012
In honor of one of Brianna’s current favorite videos on the web, it is my duty to do a “Sh*t Brianna Never Says” list for you. I’m sorry my video-making skills are too substandard to actually make a real video, so you’ll just have to bear with me and read the list.
“I love when you fart”
“Yes! More cat puke!”
“That’s okay McClain. I never want you to tell me when you have a dirty diaper”
“Man. This ‘Walking Dead’ show sucks”
“No honey, you do too much work around the house already”
“Can you burp for me
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By Brianna, on January 23rd, 2012 
So here is where I am supposed to show you all the awesome things I have been crafting as I lay around babying my back… Does homework count?
I’m not sure what exactly possessed me to take 15 hours of college credit, online, in the same semester I am having our second child. Right… What the hell do I think I am? Superwoman?
So far the work itself hasn’t been horrifically challenging simply because it is the first part of the semester where you do review or learn basics. BUT (and this is a big but) online classes just take
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By Patrick, on January 19th, 2012 
Yes, there is a desperate shortage of masculinity on this website. But I'm aiming to fix that. Welcome to Manterest.com
Pinterest. Yes, you’ve all heard about it. It’s the next new craze to hit the outerwebs. Apparently with Pinterest, you can go to any website and if you like an image or the site, you can “pin” it to your “board” on your pinterest account. You can then look at this image again and/or share it with people that you know and people that you don’t know. And then it can be shared again, and again, and again. Basically,
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By Brianna, on December 25th, 2011 
Yes this is a Venus Flytrap
We wanted to wish you the best holiday season with love from our Christmas decorated venus flytrap. If you think that’s a little odd you can thank Patrick. When I was in the midst of holiday decorating he suggested, “You should decorate my venus flytrap for Christmas. I bet that has never been done before.” I told him everything has been done before… Well I lost that bet. Or at least couldn’t prove it through Google images.
So here you go world: Merry Christmas from Real Mountain Values… Venus Flytrap Style.
We’ll see
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By Patrick, on December 17th, 2011 
What if they combined junk mail and spam… You'd get a 6" longer penis with 0% introductory APR.
Just like you, we’re bombarded with all kinds of crappy junk mail every day. This past Thursday, I received something from the Honey-Baked Ham Store. As I looked at the catalog, I said to myself, “How in the world did they get my name and address? I’ve never bought any of their tasty pork products before. Oh my god, that ham looks GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.” But I digress.
Well, probably the worst and most numerous of the junk mail that me and Brianna
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By Patrick, on December 10th, 2011 
HoHoHo!
Dear SantaClain,
This is a brief list from your papa for what I would like for Christmas. I don’t think there’s too much on the list that you shouldn’t be able to do, so please take this under consideration as you are flying around the world on Christmas Eve night. you.
1. Please let us know when you poop. Point at your butt. Say “Poop!” Point at your butt and say “Poop!” Anything to let us know that you have pooped. That way, we can try to pass you off to the other spouse until one of us
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